No More New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, A New Year Intention

Did you know that the average day that people give up on their new year’s resolution is day 12? Seriously! We cannot last even 2 weeks…

I have been that person many a year. Perhaps not as early as day 12, but certainly not much longer than a few weeks.

I think the statistic is that only 8% of people stick to their resolution the whole year through. That’s pretty sad, considering we all start out a new year so hopeful and with good, healthy goals that we know would serve us well to stick to.

So why set a resolution?

There is something to be said about a new year. It is a clean page, in a way. Yes, to be fair, it is simply another calendar month and day, but if you allow it to be somewhat spiritual, then it can be more than that.

A new year marks the end of a cycle and the start of a brand new cycle. You have gone through an entire 12 months of life and, with the ticking over from 11:59 to 00:00, you get to breathe that year away and try again.

I think there is something pretty special about that.

So why do resolutions fail?

Now, I do not know the actual reason, but my belief is that our resolutions are far too black and white – succeed or fail. We allow ourselves zero wiggle room.

Say, for example, you set the resolution to lose weight. Well, if you get to the end of the year and you haven’t lost the weight you wanted, then clearly you have failed.

But, as mentioned above, we don’t typically make it a year. What happens before then is that the small “failure” at day 12 or month 2, or whenever, is so demotivating and heart breaking that we begin to mentally give up. We start to allow ourselves to falter more and more because, hey, we’ve already lost.

I’ve been there…so many times. And not just with resolutions, but with other life goals. I start, I give in to temptation and “fail” and, mentally, I begin to give up. And so, without even realising it, I have lost before I have even given myself a chance to try again.

And that is why I have given up on resolutions and have decided to set an intention for each year instead.

What is an intention?

Now, when I say the word “intention”, I do not mean in the typical sense of the word, like “I have the intention of going to the grocery store today”. I mean it in a more yoga practice intention setting kind of way.

At the start of every yoga practice, we set an intention – a dedication of sorts. It can be a word, a phrase, even a person. It is something that will keep us grounded and focused, particularly in times when the practice gets challenging.

Some examples of yoga intentions I have set are:

• observing my breath more closely
• finding comfort within the discomfort
• peace
• love
• gratitude
• self care
• dedicating to someone who needs thought

I could go on and on. My point, however, is that the intention is more like a direction of energy, a focus, a purpose, rather than a plan to do something specific and tangible.

How to set an intention for a year

My 2018 intention…

I first chose to set an intention for my year at the start of 2018.

2017 was the year I became a mom and, with that, came an enormous amount of self-sacrifice. I poured so much of myself into prioritising and caring for my new baby girl, that I just about entirely neglected myself. I got to the end of 2017 tired, depleted, lost and a bit sad.

In reaction to this, instead of setting my usual “get in shape”, “eat better” resolutions, I chose to call on my yoga teachings and set the intention of self care for 2018.

As I think back over 2018, there is no pass or fail feeling when it comes to my intention. Instead, I ask myself, “do I feel better?” And yes, I do.

As 2018 moved along, I tried, when possible, to implement this intention – allowing myself to take time out for myself. Some days it worked and others it did not. But that’s ok, because as I reflected on the 12 months retrospectively, I could feel that I was not as depleted as I was a year ago. My intention wove itself through my year and left its mark on me.

My 2019 intention…

This year my intention is two-fold:

1. Cultivate peace
2. Practice discipline

Reflecting on 2018, what I felt is that I lost control of my inner peace far too frequently.

Having a toddler and welcoming a new baby boy has tested me immensely. I found myself losing my temper, becoming frustrated, infuriated and impatient too often. And so, I wanted to set the intention of cultivating peace for 2019 so that I could work on improving in that area.

As for the discipline, another part of life that gets challenged when having kids is one’s routine and rhythm. Reflecting on 2018, I felt that, although I was kinder to myself, I hadn’t developed a routine and rhythm that served me. I was just going through the motions of getting stuff done.

I needed to implement discipline in order to create a routine that not only served my family, but myself and my peace as well.

Although seemingly different, the 2 in fact go hand in hand.

In yoga, we call it Abhyasa – to practice, day in and day out, in order to achieve a peaceful state of mind.

I developed a now sacred morning ritual, which has become a crucial step in both my intention for discipline and peace. I wrote about it in a previous blog post, if you would like to give it a read. http://myjoyfuladventure.com/2019/01/10/why-ive-decided-to-wake-up-at-5am-every-day-and-how-it-has-transformed-my-day/

How to set your intention

I wanted to share with you my intentions for the past 2 years so that you can get a feel for how to set your own.

It is basically a reaction to a feeling.

Take time to reflect on the year that has past. Figure out how, when thinking about the year as a whole, you feel. What is the main theme? Then, from that, take time to figure out what you need to cultivate in order to work to change that feeling, improve on it or grow from it.

If your year was sad, set your intention on the word joy.

If your year was chaotic, set your intention on the word peace or calm.

You get the idea.

What if I fail?

That’s the beautiful thing – you can’t fail. This is not a black or white, succeed or fail kind of thing. You cannot get to the end of the year and either give yourself a tick or a cross. Instead, you strive to manifest something over your year and, when 2019 closes, you reflect on how you feel and move forward from wherever you are.

Every stumble, or practice that goes against your intention, is an opportunity to pause, take a breath and try again tomorrow. That’s the beauty.

You cannot fail. You can only continue trying to better yourself, one day at a time.

Tips and tricks

But there are a couple things to help you along the way:

• Let go of any expectation or tangible goal. Go only on feelings. If you feel like you are moving in the right direction, then chances are that you are. As soon as you include something tangible, you open yourself up to the possibility of failure. And, with even the possibility of failure, you leave yourself vulnerable to the mental roadblocks that fear of failure bring. If you feel that you have lost the direction, pause, reflect and re-direct based on how you feel at that point.
• Do not forget your intention. I have written my intention on my bathroom mirror. So, every day I am reminded of what I am striving towards. Peace and discipline. Sure, there are days when both go out the window, but at least I get to take a breath and try again tomorrow.
• Remind yourself to keep trying. I write that on my mirror too – to take a breath and try again tomorrow.
• Think up a handful of things that you know will bring you closer to the feeling of your intention on a day to day basis – should you need them. For example, in times of frustration, I breathe the mantra “inhale peace, exhale love”. So simple and yet so effective. I also make sure to do at least 1 yoga Sun Salutation every day, in order to keep the feeling of discipline, and Abhyasa, alive. 99% of the time, I end up doing more than just one and the energy that this disciplined act generates tends to transfer to other areas of my day. So far, I have practiced a small bit of yoga every day, except 1. Abhyasa.

I hope this helps, my friends. We all want to become better versions of ourselves, but sometimes the pressure we place can actually have the opposite effect.

Take a deep breath, reflect and try again.

Tara