Letting go of your goal: a crucial step in pursuing any big project

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In part 1 of this series, I talked about how there are 2 steps to starting any business/project/challenge that no one typically talks about. The first is acknowledging and naming your fears (click here to read). We all have fears and a lot of them we keep hidden from even our own view. The problem with this is that they can seriously affect our road to success. We need to become aware of what they are so that we can keep them in check. The second step I have learnt to be aware of is the necessity of letting go of the goal. I understand that this may sound completely backwards when it comes to starting a business/big project, so let me explain further.

Some examples…

Someone very close to me is a proud member of AA, Alcoholics Anonymous. Since finding her sobriety and allowing me to share in her journey, I have learnt so much. The principles embedded and taught within AA are amazing – things that all of us can learn from and adopt in our lives. Furthermore, being a yogi (or trying to be these days), you would be amazed at how aligned the yogic principles are with the AA ones.

One of the big and vital parts of AA is recognising that the ultimate goal – staying sober for the rest of your life – is too big and overwhelming. Can you imagine waking up each day and being faced with the goal “I can never have a drink ever again in my whole life”? The chances of failing, if you think in ultimate goal terms, is too big. Instead, members are encouraged to think more along the lines of, “I am not going to drink TODAY”. That’s it, 24 hours. Much more do-able and allowing for success to happen 365 days of a year.

In my own life, I look forward to the time that I can, once again, successfully conquer a 2 hour long run without collapsing. If I am too attached to that goal, then every time I step out and feel death approaching after 15 minutes, I am going to feel completely defeated. Chances are, I’m just going to give up. It is too hard and too far away.

Looking at it another way…maybe you are wanting to lose 20 pounds. If you wake up every day and look at the scale, comparing every number to the ultimate 20 pounds, you will no doubt get hugely despondent. The final goal is big and, every time you compare your current weight to the end goal, you will feel as if you are failing. But what about succeeding just for today? That we can do.

Letting go of the goal…

That is the power of this concept: “letting go of the goal”? I do not mean giving up on it entirely and not having a goal (having goals is hugely important), but rather letting go of the attachment to it and breaking the goal down into manageable, attainable steps.

For my blog, the ultimate goal (to get good traffic, make some money and get paid to write for others) is huge. I find myself looking at my daily traffic and heartbreakingly comparing it to the “big figure picture”. Each time I do this, seeing as my numbers are nowhere near where I want them to be, I feel as though I am failing.

If I focus on letting go of my daily attachment and obsession with that goal and instead focus on achieving something just for today (perhaps getting out a new post) – I succeed. And, with that success, comes renewed energy and motivation; an essential part of working toward tomorrow’s achievement.

Focusing on the process

There must be a reason why so many wise people in history have repeated the phrase “focus on the process”. I have heard this phrase so many times that it almost sounds a little cheesy.

This phrase, “focus on the process”, goes hand in hand with another good-old-favourite, “be in the moment”. And both of these pair up beautifully with the concept on hand, “letting go of the goal”.

To focus on the process and stay in the moment, one must ultimately let go of the goal. We cannot be in the moment if we are constantly reaching for something that is an unspecified distance in the future.

A few moons ago – before moving to the US and before having babies – I used to run long distances races. The longest I have successfully completed was 89km (55 miles). All 3 times I completed this race, it took me just shy of 12 hours. A brutally long time to potentially be thinking about the end goal of crossing the finish line, don’t you think? Can you imagine how awful each km would have been if I was solely focused on the goal and taking myself out of the moment?

Perhaps you do a lot of long distance driving or flying? Of course we all want to just get there, but obsessively thinking about arriving really makes time go incredibly slowly. I’m sure we’ve all had this experience – “are we there yet?!” With the wisdom of age and experience, we’ve learnt that we have to think of the travel time as a part of our journey. We have to practice letting go of the final destination and focus on the process/be in the moment.

I could go on and on with examples, but I’m pretty sure you get the point.

Think to yourself…

Are you currently working on something big? Training for something, starting a business, pursuing a new project? Ask yourself if your awareness of your goal is getting in the way of your enjoyment of the actual challenge? If it is, then you know you need to try and let go of that attachment and come back to the magic of the process.

In the end, why devote so much time and energy to something if it is not going to bring you joy? The joy can always be found in the process. Come back there. The goal will be achieved when it is meant to be.

Tara 

To read part 1 on acknowledging your fears, click here.

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