*This was written a few days after I had my miscarriage. It is raw and unedited – exactly as I wrote it at the time. Going through an early miscarriage is generally not something that gets talked about. For one thing, as it happens before 12 weeks, chances are you haven’t told many people so, when the miscarriage happens, you just *simply keep that quiet too. I put an asterisk next to “simply” because there is nothing simple about it. Suffering in silence is difficult and, I now believe, unnecessary. When you first fall pregnant, you read a lot about your chances of having a miscarriage and pray, quietly to yourself, that you will not be…
We may not have held our baby, but we dreamed of it. We may not have kissed our baby, but we imagined it. We may not have watched our baby grow up, but we longed for it. The physical size of our lost child may have been tiny, but the fantasies we had for who he or she would be were enormous. With the silence of the doppler, came the silencing of those dreams…